You come week after week and talk and talk. Some weeks are better than others, but nothing seems to be changing. You're tired, you don't want to come, and you think "I'm wasting my money, time, and energy on this." You've called your therapist and told them you've decided to take a different route because you couldn't never quite grasp the point. What's the point of this therapy thing anyway?
You've given up. What have you given up on though? Why did you go to week to week? Was there any real work being done?
As a clinician, I've learned that everybody has their own needs, their own way of learning, and their own way of improving themselves. I've also learned that there are many barriers to improved quality of life that often lead us to the question: "what's the point?"
When we hit those barriers, nothing happens. Our lives do not change, we do not feel any different, and we cannot see progress. We quit.
What are those barriers?
1. Being truthful with yourself is too hard.
2. Venting takes precedence over developing perspective or insight.
3. Motivation is lacking.
4. immediate results aren't there.
And the one I see most often:
5. No work gets done in between sessions.
Why don't we see progress and change? Because often times, the most important work gets done in between sessions.
If you have a wonderful session, revelations and insights are made, plans are drawn, and the relationship with you and your therapist is strong, you're doing something. The second you leave that door and forget the past 50 minutes, it begs the question, "what's the point?"
Work in between sessions includes putting plans in to action, thinking about the conversation you and your therapist just had, using your new found insight somehow. If this doesn't happen, then I also do not know the answer to "what's the point?"
What do I know? I know:
There is no truth serum.
This is not a buriral place wekk after week for every single frustration.
I cannot convince you that you need to do something if you don't want to.
There are no instant, miracle cures here.
The most important work happens outside of session.
The point of therapy is to take your new understandings, skills, insights, and perspectives and put them to work. If you don't do anything between sessions, what's the point?